After the debacle that was Mexican Week, the producers clearly thought about what themes they could employ that can’t possibly offend anyone. That’s why we had Autumn Week, because a season won’t cancel anyone. Now we have a throwback to 50 years ago (wow!) with 1970s Week. No one can get upset about the decade that gave us ABBA, disco, avocado-green dishwashers, and Charlie’s Angels. Even though plenty of us were born in the ’70s or survived them, a decade has no constituency, no one to be offended. However, I think the theme is a little weak, because we’ve seen so many Black Forest gâteaux over this show’s run already that it doesn’t really stand out as part of a theme.
The one thing that does stand out is how all of the bakers dressed for this occasion. Georgie, Illiyin, and Christiaan wore patterns with garish colors, which may not be ’70s but is certainly the cartoonish perception that we give to it now. (Speaking of ’70s cartoons, how did no one make a Scooby-Doo cake?) Dylan went with velvet, which is also a fabric that would fit right in with Austin Powers. But Gill? She just slapped on an orange T-shirt and walked into the tent like she owns the place. Was there nothing in her closet that would be better suited? Was she supposed to wear this during Autumn Week and just forgot?
Anyway, the first challenge is to make profiteroles, which, at least in the U.S., are choux pastry that is usually filled with ice cream. We have none of that here, just jam and cream fillings. This seems a little off to me because I would never associate these with the ’70s specifically — I still see them on menus all the time. Isn’t there something like the peach melba, as we learned last week when Gill made a version of it, that has been relegated to the bakery graveyard?
Only Georgie and Dylan do really well with their bakes. Georgie’s is inspired by Queen, including a chocolate Freddie Mercury standing on the top. I’m not sure if Americans are aware, but Freddie and Queen are huge in the U.K. He’s something like their Bruce Springsteen but gayer, funner, and with a bit more spring to his step. While her stack of profiteroles is a little wonky, both judges love her white-chocolate and coconut fillings as well as the variety with dark chocolate and caramel inside. Dylan’s nougatine-and-blue-food-coloring structure is supposed to be inspired by a droid from Star Wars. I don’t see the resemblance, but Paul gives him another handshake for his banana-crème-filled buns. This season, Paul is just giving those handshakes out like Tic Tacs at a key party.
The other three remaining bakers all struggle. Both judges love Illiyin’s Afro-inspired tower and the raspberry-white-chocolate and brown-butter-amoretto fillings; too bad the thing is so structurally unsound that she had to put a large jar behind it just to keep it upright. Gill’s tower is inspired by a fake ’70s tree she inherited from her parents, and though it’s red and green, both judges think that, much like the Supreme Court in the 1970s, it’s lacking in color. Prue gives her the worst critique, saying it’s competent but not exciting. Christiaan has a bit of a stumble when his choux doesn’t rise like he wanted, and he has to restart his Black Forest gâteau–inspired buns filled with something called namelaka, which is a Japanese-inspired mousse. I think I might need to open a pastry shop just so I can name it Call Me by Your Namelaka.
The Technical is a banoffee pie, which, again, if you live in England, is omnipresent. My favorite doughnut shop sells a banoffee doughnut. What makes this ’70s? But the pie is not the star of this challenge. That would be true treasure Allison Hammond. First, she starts off by saying, “This challenge was set by the “It’ girl of the ’70s … Paul.” I LOL’d IRL. Then, when she’s doing some dance moves, she gets up on an unused counter and careers off of it in a sort of breakdancing accident that hasn’t been seen since Alfonso Ribeiro supposedly broke his neck doing a head spin. Oh wait, that urban legend is from the ’80s. Sorry. Wrong decade. Allison lies on the floor laughing in shame, but luckily Noel comes to give her a snuggle and some encouragement.
As for the bakers, they think this challenge is cruel because there is no recipe at all to make this caramel, banana, and cream pie. Still, they all manage to do all right, with Gill, Illiyin, and Dylan hovering at the bottom while Georgie wins and Christiaan comes in second.
For the Showstopper, they have to make a giant tiered cake with lots of intricate piping-work. Apparently, the only colors that were allowed in the ’70s were green, pink, and white, because that is what Georgie’s and Dylan’s nearly identical cakes look like. Dylan’s is a chocolate cake with peppermint buttercream, which Paul is openly skeptical about. Dylan says it’s based on mint-chip ice cream, which is delicious, but I think this flavor combination should be saved only for the frozen-food aisle. Georgie’s cake is equally garish and brilliant and inspired by her auntie’s bathroom, which had a carpet and, most likely, one of those little dolls with a crocheted skirt to hold an extra roll of toilet paper. It is a Black Forest–inspired cake, and both Paul and Prue say that it is too boozy, something you almost never hear in the tent. Still, after a very strong week, Georgie goes on to take Star Baker for the second time, evening her up with Dylan and Sumayah, who can’t really benefit now that she’s been eliminated.
There’s also a problem on the booze level with Christiaan, who makes his cake with a Dutch confection called advocaat. Between this and the namelaka, Christiaan just won’t use words like mousse or frosting or filling. Is this man sponsored by Duolingo? Is he married to that fucking green owl? I loved how his cake looked, emphasizing the oranges and umbers that were more common in the decade than pinks and greens. It looks good, but a little bit like a cake that was left out in the rain by Donna Summer. Yes! A ’70s reference! I’m on a roll.
Gill has an amazing knack for pulling it out just when she needs to, and that is what she does with her shag-carpet-inspired Black Forest cake. I just love how it looks, with the unfrosted sponges at the top covered by and sandwiching cherries, and the brightly colored and intricately textured piping on the rest of the cake. Both Paul and Prue think it is both chocolaty and amazing, and you can tell that this lady who is dressed as a pumpkin-spice latte is going to make it to the semifinals.
The same can not be said for Illiyin, who knows her fate as soon as her cake collapses in the fridge. But, still, she puts on her game face, trudges up there to be judged, and listens to Paul and Prue talk about how perfect her peach melba cake tastes. Prue says it’s “divine,” which might be true or just a way to lift her spirits. But her bake faced challenges all along, like when she split her ganache and struggled to get the boards and dowels in the right places to keep the whole structure aloft. We’re going to miss Illiyin, and I just hope for her sake that they let her get back in the time machine to return to the present day and leave the ’70s behind forever.
